this port trigger table is what i did after reading further about stuff and things and all the vagaries surrounding ichat and routers.
this seems to be somewhat better than not having anything set fort ichat. until i have a chance to test further with a few people i will not know if it's really made a difference.
Other info!:
I have found that quitting coreaudiod using activity monitor and relaunching ichat solves a LOT of the audio video connection problems between buddies. Many times both buddies will have to do this.
